EVERYONE'S TALKING ABOUT MOUNT RUSHMORE

 

 

Well for starters, fireworks are set to return to Mount Rushmore for America’s 250th birthday celebration next year. If it lasts that long, of course. And then also because President 45 and 47 has often mused about wanting to be a bobble head next to the other presidents. 

 

But this isn’t new actually. It just resurfaced as a bill was sponsored by a fan-girl member of congress to “direct the Secretary of the Interior to arrange for the carving of the figure of President Donald J. Trump on Mount Rushmore National Memorial.” It has been referred to the House Committee on Natural Resources, but they haven’t done anything about it. Yet. 

 

Oh, God…

 

Trump has a bee in his bonnet about this. He first brought this up to then-South Dakota Governor Kristi Noem (now we just call her ICE Barbie), saying it was his “dream.” And technically yes, there is space for another head, but the rock is so fragile it might just collapse the whole thing. Which in itself is a great, sadly pertinent, metaphor. 

 

 

 

 

Currently there are four Presidential faces carved into this South Dakota mountain side — Washington, Jefferson, Theodore Roosevelt, and Lincoln. Trump might have to settle for what local South Dakota officials are trying to make happen: a National Garden of American Heroes in the Black Hills near Mount Rushmore. Naturally Indigenous People of the area have issues with this, since the area is sacred to them.

 

Also, wow, a little garden, I guess that’s a little less glorious. Or bigly.

 

On a not-long-ago road trip across America, we made a stop in this area. And it does all feel just so woebegone to me. Firstly, it’s very small (and Mrs Putin is all about BIG). The heads are something like 60 feet tall, so you arrive and it’s awfully underwhelming. 

 

And it all seems like a hellacious tourist trap that truly does not need anyone to visit. The carvings, let’s face it, are bad. They have no perceived depth, and they look a little shoddy. It might be a landmark, but it’s like kindergarten kids did this with a little help from the teacher.  

 

Oh and guess what, there is a secret chamber, between Roosevelt and Lincoln, up top –- but you can’t go there. What a tease.

 

Maybe because its “1 star disappointing” that visitor numbers are falling 2 million, year on year. Or, perhaps the budgets for National Parks across the country being “DOGE’d” means there isn’t anyone to charge you to get in, never mind clean up your picnic flotsam. 

 

The Mount Rushmore sculptor, Gutzon Borglum, named it the “Shrine of Democracy.” But it was not actually his idea, it was Doane Robinson, South Dakota’s state historian in 1924. And I much prefer Robinson’s plans –- he originally wanted the sculpture to feature American West heroes, such as Lewis and Clark, their native expedition guide Sacagawea, Oglala Lakota chief Red Cloud, Buffalo Bill Cody and Oglala Lakota chief Crazy Horse. But Borglum chose the four presidents instead, cajoling that it represented “foundation, expansion, development, and preservation.” And I probably don’t have to tell you that it’s built on land that was illegally taken from the Sioux Nation in the 1870s. 

 

 

 

 

If you really need to see an interesting carving you have an alternative, the Crazy Horse Memorial, nearby although it is currently still under construction (they have been at it for over 70 years). It is a colossal mountain carving of Lakota hero Crazy Horse. I did do a little pitstop, and the first thing that will strike you is that it is much, much much bigger than little Mount Rushmore at 641 feet long and 563 feet tall. Plus the detail is certainly more compelling. 

The one thing I do love about Mount Rushmore, is less its tourist appeal and more its Hollywood cameo. One of Alfred Hitchcock’s greatest films North by Northwest (1959) was initially called “The Man on Lincoln’s Nose.” That was a reference to the final, very dramatic scene at the end of the movie. 

 

So you managed to heave yourself all the way to the area? Now instead of going to Mount Rushmore. I have a much better idea — stay for all the other cool things. 

 

 

 

 

 

The Badlands and Rapid City, South Dakota

 

 

Yes technically The Badlands is also a National Park, but you’re a big girl so you can manage without all the staff. Why is it called The Badlands, you ask? Well because the terrain is difficult and rugged with eroded landscapes, limited water sources and mostly extreme temperatures. 

 

And when you get here, it makes total sense — the scale, the colors, the why the earth seems to tilt. It is, afterall, the site of an ancient ocean and thus one of the globe’s richest fossil beds, plus an oasis for wildlife. Everything from birds, to bison, to pronghorn, to black-footed ferrets and bighorn sheep. The sheep are easily spotted when you venture around the rocky precipices of Pinnacles Overlook and in Cedar Pass areas like Castle Trail and Big Badlands Overlook. 

 

 

 

 

The epic Oscar winning film, Dances with Wolves was filmed right here, in case you wanted to have something to watch before your trip. 

 

Nestled in the Black Hills, Rapid City has that small-time charm Americana vibe that is dissolving as so many places become commercialized and Disneyfied. Whilst hanging around town I met Food Network Star Justin Warner, who took his experiences from New York and Japan to create Bokujō Ramen, on Mount Rushmore Road. So now you have a spot to feast. 

 

Want to know where to stay? That’s easy. The Hotel Alex Johnson of course. Just note that it’s haunted. But I like that. I spent most of my time waiting to see the paranormal activity. I was told a ghost called the Lady in White haunts room 812 after dying there. 

 

Built in 1927 today it is on the national Register of Historic Places. It is this behemoth of a brick building right downtown, where they somehow took a Tudor Revival architecture style and gave it “vernacular elements” including decorative masonry. Inside it is decorated in that classic Western meets Native American design. Think teepee-shaped chandeliers and hand-drawn motifs. You’re in for a treat.

 

If you want to meet some spicy locals I recommend the local Dinosaur Park. It features life-size concrete dinosaur sculptures and was initiated after dinosaur bones and footprints were discovered in the area. Also it has great views across the whole area. 

 

Dinosaur hunting is a many splendored thing by the way. 

 

And lastly, a little drive north-west and you will find yourself in Sturgis, home to the famed Sturgis Motorcycle Rally. It is held annually and began in 1938 as a small motorcycle race and stunt show organized by the Jackpine Gypsies Motorcycle Club. Over the decades, the rally has grown into a massive ten-day event attracting hundreds of thousands of motorcycle enthusiasts from around the world. I, of course, found myself in a dust-swept, 95 degree heat Saturday chaos where I hung out with “Bikers for Kamala” in pink leather, and Trans-Motherfuckers-On-Bikes. And let me tell you, every other variant of harecore biker was also there. 

 

So, skip little Rushmore, and find yourself on the open roads of South Dakota. The expanse, with very few people and all the rolling prairies, is a great place to muse on your own sense of foundation, expansion, development, and preservation here in the Great United States of America.